early night for me

drum roll please......... i did NOT eat the rice pudding! whoooooooo hooooooooo WIN 1 / LOSE 0 
I threw it out in the bin this morning. i have been busy today and cleaned my car out, took me ages but i forgot to put my heart rate monitor on, so i guessed i burnt off 200 calories but i bet it was much more, i was at it for over two hours!. 
bad bad girl i was for my tea!. i had all the dreaded death food, beige crap. oven chips a sausage, fish fingers, chicken breast things....oh so nice yet oh so nasty. i dont want to eat death food like that any more, maybe once or twice a week just to get it out of my freezer, i'm not made of money!....the results of my death food tea is sluggishness and tiredness. its ok as i know i will be ok tomorrow, back eating healthily. i do not want to be back where i was 6 nights ago, desparate to stop eating, looking at a big plate of death food that i was going to eat, two big cornish pasties and enough oven chips to feed the whole house!, i sat there willing myself not to throw it up the wall. oh i was so so close to lifting up that plate and throwing it, if i had of done i would have ended up on the floor in a total mess crying my eyes out. i have been there many many times, broke so many plates! as my addiction to death food totally overwhelms me but i dont want to eat it but i cant stop. the inner turmoil was incredible. i hope i have left that feeling behind me, i hope it never returns again...and they say drugs is bad!!!!!. 
ooooo look a little choccy bear!. nom nom nom. very nice. 55 cals for 3! gotta have a little treat now and then. despite my death food tea i still remain under my cals for the day, well i'm in-between 1900 and 2200, so i'm quite happy as i burned off about 250+. 
exciting tomorrow as we get the keys to our new shop. cant wait. 
my knee is throbbing. i pushed it on the cross trainer. i did 10 mins. im used to doing 20 but since i damaged my knee swimming of all things i have to watch what im doing. 
anyway i'm gong to bed. no rice pud out to get me tonight thank god!. 
scores are as follows :- food addiction win 1/ lose 0. lazyitis win 1/ lose 0. 
night night. jane.xxx.